My Personal Space

If it's time to say goodbye - Con te io li vivrò.

2005-02-12T00:34:00.000-08:00

The back part means 'with you I will experience it'

It's part of the lyrics to a song by Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli. Titled 'time to say goodbye'.

I do know that my posts seems generally angsty. I am in the know that my recent blog posts have marginally appeared to be under dim shadows. I trust you can see that the words which I post seem engulfed by darkness.

On a side note, Happy CNY. Note, in accordiance with our customs it is supposed to be a new beginning, but here let me round off first instead.

I will be brutally honest in asking you this question. "Have you ever entertained suicidal notions in your life before?"

First let me put my stand on the issue. I don't support self-killing. But how can we simplify it to a matter of allowing or disallowing? I must admit that indeed I have thought of such prospects before. I do have the occasional tendency to just look out of the window when I'm under stress, and then my brain starts whirring. Don't refer me to a counsellor whatsoever. It's just that sometimes... you really don't feel the urge to go on living. You wish you could stop there, and take all your problems away with you. I think in such a way from time to time, but I'm glad that I still have people to help me survive the stress which each day in life presents.

Sometimes you wonder at how insignificant you are; sometimes you scorn at how inferior a character you present. When we write 散文, we are often inspired by something small, ever so insignificant. Yet it provides the inspiration for you to think of ideas in general. For me, the latest source was Jeremy's blog. The post dated 8/2 on 'Musings'.

QUOTE
"Reasonably anyway. And, when I probe further, I differ from them in a lot of ways. My cousins are generally good-looking, outspoken, sociable, fashionable, outgoing, etc. Whilst I am... well, lets just say that I'm the opposite. Nerdy and introverted and antisocial and ugly and fat and... blahblahblah"

The words just aided me in putting myself into perspective. Of course, people will know that I was scolding him for 'making me cry', and I was riling at his insensitivity which applied on doing a comparitive analysis. Call me sentimental at times.

I remember Jeffrey once telling me how he had become nonchalant towards others' attitudes and opinions. Yet from what I knew, he could be emotional like me a lot of times. True enough, he told me that his unpertubed look was just an exterior to who he really was, and the damage was only reflected in the privacy of his home.

I've been thinking a lot about everything in life these days, and I realise that I'm a lot like him. I am highly emotional and immensely sensitive, yet I force myself to tolerate in front of others. In fact, Ellie often tells me that I'm 'too jovial'. I find his comment incredibly humourous precisely because of how the phrase just sums up my pathetic existence. He is right. I put on a front of being mostly happy in front of people. Even pigsie once mentioned that I was 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde'. Wheras I save the sad stuff for the private world of my room, where I think a lot.

Which brings me back to the topic. After how I openly said that Jeremy made me cry, I know that many people were simply curious. Not to mention disbelieving. So I played along. But what many don't know is the truth. I did cry. I was just lying down thinking, and suddenly I had cometo a realisation about the state of my life. The tears just started falling.

Relative comparison is the keyword of the day. When Jeremy denounces himself in such a way, it only serves the sadist purpose of making people like me sad. And the more I thought of the negative portrait the message was painting, the more I envisioned myself.

What I'm not:
I don't have the good looks - Which doesn't bother me too much. I don't wish to appear himbotc at the prospects of the importance of outwardly presence

Outspoken I am - To a point where it can get offensive at times.

Sociable - Honestly, how big is my social circle? On reflection, I feel entirely ashamed to say that it is one aspect of my life which I suck at totally

Fashionable - Well, I'm a dinosaur on style

Outgoing - No I'm not the spontaeneous and enthusiastic kind. I'm typically more mellow and at times, pessimistic by nature

Also, I am just the opposite

Nerdy - Presicely the impact I give people, and my image does not help issues either

Antisocial - You people judge

Ugly and fat - It would be somewhat shallow to judge people by outwardly appearance, but its importance in judging people still unfortunately a truth of society. And I can safely qualify under the negative side in both cases.

And thus it is mostly summed up. I'm not intelligent. Nor athletic. Nor rational. Nor sociable. Nor handsome. Nor initiated. Nor eloquent. Nor tolerant. Nor skilled. The list goes on.

I understand that I should not aim to be what I am not. But here comes the dilemna. Who am I? What is my identity. If you could remove all that you knew about me, what is the kind of person I actually am beneath? Yet a person' character is based on what you know about the person. It can be depressing to note that I fall into none of the 'good' categories, but I'm still glad for the sudden enlightenment which I have suddenly attained about my life.

But at the end of this degradory rant, I would like to say that it would have been impossible to survive thus far without all my good friends who have been helping me. Let me compile how appreciative I am towards you. Apologies - I can't do all, so I'll focus on those closest to me. I must thank you guys for colouring up my life and also giving me something to live for.

From Tao Nan

Tzern / LiAnn / Claire / Val / Boo - Thank you for being such a cool family to me. You guys are so immensely wonderful to me. Thank you for all the support you have given me over these past few years. Tzern you were a *fun* roomate and you're still soo cute *heh*. Claire - for all the hilarious gossip (remember?). Boo - For the occasional childishness and your 'brotherhood'. LiAnn - For the chinese music and j-pop interests as well as the half-crazed optimism. Val - For being the one who also was appreciative of all the music.

Justin / WeiXiong / David / LaoHuang - You guys are the people who I know relatively well also. Thank you so much, and espacially for coming on to hci with me. Justin - for being my neighbour and the person I can talk to. WeiXiong and David - for being with me for 5 years in the same class consecuitively. LaoHuang - for the irritating moods which were kinda fun. Remember mrs tan's departure and the erhu performance that wasn't?

Prince / Titus / Stanley / Omi - For all that we have encountered, thank you for being there as well. Prince - for being a family friend from the past generation, and for trusting and confiding in me on so many occasions. Titus - for being the unique personality and the constant joking sessions we had together. Stanley - for being the nice friend right from the start at p4. Omi - for... oh wait. Hmm, ah who cares... the disputes were sorta fun. Heh.

From hci
Seniors (Particularly Jeffrey / Jianyi / Taiboon) - Thank you for being so supportive of me and all the 'retarded' humour we have had as well as heart-to-heart coversations which have helped me gain mch deeper insight into life as well.

Jeremy / Pigsie / Ellie - Hey thank you for being among my closest friends in secondary school. Jeremy for being such a great gor and allowing me to bully him at times. Yq (Oh btw I'm sorry I seem to be blowing my top on you a lot these days) - for your genius and wierd moods and how we would keep talking nonsense especially during jap. Ellie, for being so cute and nice... but not for the 'too jovial' remarklol.

Joseph / Marcus / Phang / Howie / Jiajia / Alvin - Erm basically for constituting the major group of people I hang out with mostly. Marcus - for huagang, Joseph - for well, basically sharing the inclination to talk crap. Howie - for being so evil by calling me names but still being quite a good friend. Jiajia - for being such a responsible leader and a reliable person to bully in that ever friendly manner. Alvin - for how you were strangely one of the first people in your class I started talking to. Wierd. Don't ask me how it happened. Anyway it stuck xP. Phang - for being such a fun commie to be around and basically... I don't know either. Thank you.

And of course to the rest of you, thank you for the unspoken friendships we have had. They will motivate me to go further as a reminder to the warmth this world still has towards me. I know that I can be very difficult, so I really must thank all of you for being so nice and understanding so as to remain my good friends. Thank you for convincing me that the world is still a good place as long as the friendship bonds of humanity remain intact.

And now, as people have been waiting for the mandatory greeting: Let us usher together in the new year and celebrate what we have, and aim to use these fond memories of those who care to motivate us through the obstacles of the new year!

クレップする　と　ジェップする

2005-02-07T23:21:00.000-08:00

皆さん、こんばんは！私は前のポストで多きバーズニ成って知っている、でも誰も心配にいないので、私は、もう書きたいです。

このポストは日本語に書いたの目的はホー・ジャジュンぐらいの人々は外へ行って下さい、貴方が私は日ポストすると、もっと加圧している。私は貴方の伴いが好き、でもちょっと容認して下さい。So Ho if you’re reading this please go away.どうも有り難うございます。

私はこのポストは無駄だから、今日の出来事に日記をする。

私は今朝、普通に学校に出た。本当に。４時間の救いだけ寝たと、よく疲れました。理由は何だか。世界の中に、ローレン先生とスレク人がいるからです。嫌いなものは、後のポストで書くでしょうか。エリーさんやパンさんやピグシさんや兄などと一緒に話してもいいだと、学校にの毎朝が好きだと思います。今朝、明日の短い学校にのいる時間の理由の説明ていました。

わたし：「明日、なぜ学校の時間は特に短いですか。」
ピクシ：「解らない。チャイニズ新年ですか。」
わたし：「いいえ、火曜日です。学校は燃えます。」

オング先生は病気です。将来、あなた自身を病気から保護するため。いいですか。
ですから、ウーン先生は変わった。違い好きだ。テストのまえに一番後での授業にあったから、もう焦点に注意して試みた。地理だった。フー先生はちょっと私のクラスを嫌いではなかった。よくいて下さい。

休みに、ベン・チャオさんと「五月に天」の宣伝を広がった。

数学だから、テコンゴ島は教室へ教えにきました。ちょっと退屈で楽しみにくい、でも親切な先生だと思います。多い理由から喜ばされない、例えば、私達は二週間ワーク・シートを出しません。ご免なさい。屑大箱で韓国からの訪問者でいたから、「カンサハメダ」を言って準備した。でも、チャンスがありません。

ウーン先生はもう一度来ました。妊娠中絶、帝王切開、歯、去勢達たちたちなど。

ロレング先生の時間目だ。全に百㌫で事実ぐらいの『マル―』だ。宿題の質は悪かったから、怒っていた。突然に話して：「纏め、これはだけいいです。著者はジョナサンさんです」。全部学生の頭は私の方向に回る。先生は続いて：「ありがとう。他の人、私は今、この同じ高い標準が期待します、刃っきり注意深い人格が示します。いいです。他の人はジョナサンさんからどうぞ、学んで下さい。”

ですから、私は本当に当惑させていた。

その後、先生はピグシさんの組がプリゼント、でもたくない。ですから、私のグルプは自ら申し出た。プレゼンテションの途中に、先生さんはいつも「ウム」、「一番いい作品だ」、「このプロジェクトは本当に好きです」、「これは私の予想が超過する」。運よく、４２ヶスライドは時間に成功しません、でも私の面は本当にトマトの同じ成りました。

じゃでも違い、先生はコメントするためすばらしい仕事がいかにについてあるか繰り返し。

終わりだと思う時に… (この下にいます)

チェン先生の時間目。チェン先生は幸せがなかった。息い。

リムニ先生もちょっと怒ってようであった。「イン・ヨン・ヱン」を作った。

数学のクイズへ来る。あそこで解り知って、ロレング先生は特に他のニつのクラスへ話しに行きました。何を言ったか。「あのプロジェクトは優秀だ」と「文献学に高位考えるの使い」。そして、ゲリャル・リム・ケンさんはよく私を思い出。あっ。

これは全部で。ジェレミさんは私の男の友達に成りたくない。悲しいね。ええ、ミンジェンは可愛いです。本当に不可解に可愛いです。も、「五月の天」は「石する」。ハー。

はい、ここまで。さようーーーーーーーーーーなら。

You suck

2005-02-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

You might be heavenly.

At the top of your life, extolling the benefits of merit and godliness, marvelling those who fall into line with your system of superiority.

You must be the most generous, dedicating yourself to a 'sacrifice' by lowering your status to fall in line with that of the saviour.

You must be invincible, to argue your loner point with a lacking argument without any regards to the opinions of others without consideration and flashing the highlights of your omniscient knowledge, blaring it out. Only when higher authority re-explains the scenario do you back down, falling in line with that ease of conviction, either finally becoming trusting or refusing to admit the validity of others.

While you plagarise the work of others and pass it off as your hard work, allowing for your intelligence to shine through via the means of another's toil.

How you maintain selfish irregard to the basic neccesities of others to stop them from performing, while you hog what they need for incomprehensible reasons that make sense for you to hold with an iron grip.

Perhaps it might be the hyprocitical behaviourism of being identified as the figure of utmost dilligence in the nature in which you do all the work and naturally gain credit for it, yet despite being ridiculously intent on being complainsive at your miserable plight, you continue to choose this plight rather than work with intellectuals out of your 'generousity', or should I say a platform to shine for yourself?

Unless of course, it is your image as a model pupil which is reflected in the times where you have been mistaken as doing something else when you were actually taking notes of the lesson, under the table in a different language on a standard template known as...... a worksheet.

Or it might be the courtesy, or possibly your nature of supermacy of divinity which leades me to this point. How you have successfully abdicated only to continuously publicly berate the new organisation in its freshmen role. Or how you assume your version of healthy leadership over (not with) people you are supposed to coordinate with. Or how you expose your displeasure that other people suck at duties in which they have had greater experience than you. Or the extraneous gestures which define your personality. Or how you assume and envision yourself as the greatest of us all, even seeing the need to literally announce to all over a public forum about your newest acquisation or a program which has been residing fearfully in more than half the computers of your class for maybe over the past 5 years. How you allay the snobbish actions as gestures of care and effective dictatorial leadership. Not that it matters that you're not even supposed to be a president anymore, talk less a all controlling monarch who acts like a disciplinarian of six year olds who displays moral uprightness with extravagance.

Go on then, be your saintly figure. Not that most people, delusioned by your public acts, can even see your inner nature anyway. And since they defend your evident faults, what else is there to be said? What else is worthy of your great self?

хипокрит. эсьхёлл. фаъкер. ыдеот. бастард. жытэ. нйнкомпооп.

чию гуан иуы.

Loathe. I just hate you.

I'm sorry.

2005-01-25T21:27:00.001-08:00

Really I am.

Jeremy I owe you an apology, and if you are reading this then I beg for your forgiveness.

Gor I honestly didn't mean to make you attain that blemish on your worksheet.

I'm sorry.

Honestly.

Let me just say that regret is not even enough.

I was not intending to change her opinion of you.

But it was done, and I am willing to explain it all to her.

But what's important is, I'm really sorry.

And I promise not to can1 kao3 your work again.

Sorry.

Forgive me please. Can?

Please.

あなたは大きい世界の中に一番いい兄と友達です。私は本当にこれと思っています。

"If I die along the way, will I get a proper burial?"

2005-01-23T00:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I promised to blog on the camp… so here goes.

As the people from HCI should already know, the Year 1 iSparkies [i.e. GEP-ers] had their extremely fun ‘orientation’ bonding-style consortium-unique camp. *Draws breath*. 12-14 Jan. Held in school. By US, the Y2 councillors (of which people like me are bound to be kicked by the end of the month. But, let me continue blogging about it…)

So, yeah. 75 students. 12 groups. 6-7 junior per group.

18 councillors. 12 group leaders. 2 photographers. 4 Y2 OT.

OS: Jiajia Liangteh. AOS: Guan Yu

So let’s get into the camp……

The year 1s entered space. Talk. Blah blah blah yadda yadda. Bond with each other blah blah. Have fun blah blah. Don’t walk without your group blah blah. Scream if you see Taufik, and run away as fast as you can before washing your eyes out blah blah. Yadda yadda. *Yuck, why am I giving him self-googling opportunities?*

Then came ice-breakers! So fun… My group [11] teamed up with pigsie’s [12]. In fact, we teamed up for a lot of stuff. So anyway, we played Whacko, dog-and-bone, smarty hunt, some terrence-inspired trading card game and da feng chui. Note: I had no idea what ‘da feng chui’ was about, but I was hoping it would have something to do with singing Yvonne hsu’s songs, but nope…… And do you know how many casualties we had in that period of time? 4. I shit you not. Unbelievable ain’t it? Also, they are horribly ill disciplined.

“Don’t touch the badminton nets”
“OK” Then, runs fingers through it, saying ‘lalalala’ for about 15 seconds before resting on it.

So we decide on something more moderate and safe and toned down (Not that much is more gentle than da feng chui). So pigsie, creative as ever, decided to let them play charades. Then I suggested that we send 2 people up to act out the topic. While pigsie and I conspired as to the topics… *muahahahaha we were evil*. I mean, how do you act out ‘holland v’, ‘chicken rice’, ‘tsunami’, ‘swan lake’ and ‘charades’? Guffaw xP.

When we were done, they were starting to get bored, so we brought them for lunch. Though I don’t know how you can connect boredom and food to begin with :S. And our wonderful, hardworking, diligent, incredible, efficient, initiated, eager logistics sec took over. Presenting, ellie! He got us chicken rice. Suffice to say, I became vegetarian that lunch. :(

When our juniors were busy eating, we seniors asked if we could go to space to practice our act. So, the very nice OS liang teh walky-talkies the space to the AOS. ‘Can they go?’

AOS: ‘Ask them to stay with their groups’
Us: ‘But we’ll be back by then’
AOS: ‘Erm… erm… the space is busy.’
Us: ‘But we won’t disturb or anything wod. We just need a place to rehearse.’
AOS: ‘No!’

How pleasant (part I)

In the end, I go up 5 minutes early to get the set ready. When I enter, the AOS I sitting down having his lunch while the Prog Sec is playing cards.

How pleasant (part II)

So as you can expect, the performancez la señor was really lame-o. The script was quite nice though… kudos phang! But we were referring to the script the whole time while trying to appear more prepared.

Then we had 6 way tug-of-war. Or rather, we were going to have it, but logistics failed us. So in the end, we were all pulling at each other. Though I must say, that even from my perspective, most of them seem really, really weak. But I’m not in much of a position to comment anyway.

After that, we councillors went to poolside to slack for a while, but OS spots us and forces us to go and play water bombs with the y1s. Not the best idea, as we weren’t scheduled to bathe until all the y1s were done. But he still made us play. And so we did. Only that the word ‘play’ refers to what the year 1s were doing, while we – being the obvious targets, were trying to dodge. Talk about futility.

Then we coordinated them to bathe. One batch at a time. I think they were embarrassed or something. But they were really slow. 75 people – 110 minutes. To freaking bathe. Oh well, first times.

Then the groups dispersed for dinner around bukit timah road. 11 and 12 together. But we hit a snag – one of pigsie’s group members left his watch at poolside. So we decided they would go first and we [him & I] would meet up later with them at coronation. So we walk. And darn it – space to poolside to the college side to coro is far, and damn far if you got a junior that doesn’t keep up to the pace. We finally hit the place with half an hour to go before we needed to get back to hci.

I figured we wouldn’t have enough time to eat properly if we were to be on time, so I had to go downstairs to the supermarket and buy sushi! Genki desu!
Poor me… so I bought a pair of maki rolls. And when I got back, I found out that the junior had ordered food from the place… and ordered extra. So we had to wait for him to half-finish (very late) and finally pull him back and rush back to school before 7. We didn’t make it. Duh.

Selfish b******… oh where was I?

Then they were preparing for iSpark Idol. My groups interpretation of ‘idol’ is very limited, I must say. By the way, damn ‘Singapore Idol’, I still think that we lack the talent in comparison to the American version, and that people’s choice shouldn’t influence viability of true talent, which the competition has shown otherwise. Hate.

So while they prepared, I was begging Jerm to join BSP. Jermy PLEASE…… you’re such an intelligent gor that you can take all three lah. You are rihatsu! Ii desu! Please be a very very very very nice gor and join BSP. And pigsie and ellie, if you’re reading this, please join BSP too. Anyway, first I asked him. Then I went up to his group and asked him. Then I got on my knees. Then I kowtowed. Then I repeated it 5 times. Then I sent an SMS. Then I sent a messenger from another group. Didn’t work. Please lah, Jerm you’ve seen my cheng2 yi4 leh, don so hen3 xin1. And knowing you, you might as well apply for all.

Then came ghost stories. Didn’t manage to tell them that many, but most got spooked and creeped out lah. Ting Wei managed the locations for pair night, and boy they were nice. But I don’t like the ‘pair’ idea, takes away the essence of the entire activity. Feh. Conducted it for slightly over an hour cos oscar and terrence wanted to extend. Maumu wasn’t too pleased.

Then was sleep. And patrolling at 3.45 am in the morning.

Next day… breakfast wasn’t that bad *wink Ellie, wink*, but was terribly oily. Yuck… so uncomfortable *nods*. Hee… then came ‘Concurrent Chinese-related games’… conducted by none other than the prestigious lady mentioned in my September archives, who was physically wrecked by the tsunami in the areas of her known as Patong ____ etc. Fill in the blank yourself. [No offense to the victims lah… My heart goes out to all of you and your plight. So sad]

So pigsie and I took care of groups 9 to 12, where I du1cu4-ed him to join BSP as well. See? No preferential treatment lol. Then to spite you-know-who and her ridiculous idea, I wrote on the board…

華僑　中學
高才处聚英共识联中一新生露营
华文趣味活动

In that exact scale. And in fact, I wanted to circle ‘趣味’ and draw arrows leading to stuff like ‘十分精彩’, ‘一流刺激’, ‘煞是好玩’ and ‘奇妙无比’ et cetra, but pigsie said I was evil enough. Sighz.

Don’t know much about i² (iSpark idol), was slacking in inner space. Don’t wan’t to be embarrassed. Came out to see jermy’s group making a parody of the camp and mocking the seniors. Pah.

So we realized, horrors upon horrors, that we were ahead of schedule – so we had to plan filler. And thus we agreed to organize a mass scolding session. And people like me were dramatizing the effect, like saying how we should all enter inner space, silently walk out in single file, take a chair each, line up in one line facing them, and sit down wordlessly’. Ha! I think it worked. But then, they did deserve to be scolded for a lot of stuff anyways. So HoYay!

Lunch. Similarity to day before. Re-evolution and mutation to a vegan. Log Sec, you hear me?

Then came movie screening, where I went off with pigsie and jerm to do homework in the library. Met y3 seniors there and helped ben chow with the humanities quiz. God, does pigsie read encyclopedias in his free time or something?

Bathing again. Big confusion. Angry maumu. Helped with the maps. Don’t wish to remember that part of the camp – maumu wasn’t too happy with them and us.

Journey to the South. Ellie came with 11&12, so I worked my BSP pitch on him there xD. The maps were sucky… I mean the ITE just disappeared from the map. Oh by the way, the JTTS consists of walking from somewhere to somewhere via a lot of places in the middle of the night while stopping to do malu stuff at the checkpoints. My group? HCI – nearby KAP – SMU – SJI – TTSH – wan3qing1yuan2 – ITE Balestier – Serangoon Cntr – Tekka Mall. Godamnit it was kinda far.

The teacher that came with us was the new science teacher called Mr Liew. And he really resembles Xian Wei. So we walked. And the Y1s got really tired. So they started bugging us… ‘can we take a taxi?’, ‘will you carry me?’, ‘can we pretend to get lost and go home?’ and of course, the title question. They were trudging all over town. And the stupidest part of it all? Malus are not malu if no one is watching to make it malu! D’oh…

So pigsie and I make them do some weird stuff at the beginning, like performing the smellytubbies song and screaming我爱你one after another. But see, if it were in the day, we could have made them go up to people and say woaini. And by the end, they were too shagged to walk, talk less do proper malus. And while pigsie, mr. liew and I were at TTSH searching for a path to the seemingly non-existent ITE and Serangoon centre, the Y1s and ellie was sleeping on the chairs. Hmph!

Funniest encounter was when we were asking directions to the ITE. We were walking along balestier road, relatively famous for its ‘nightlife’ around 3 am when we went past a taxi stand. There were these few taxi drivers. So one started asking…

“这么晚了, 作么还没有回家?”
“我们在玩个夜间游戏, 需要找地方”
“哦，要去哪里? 坐taxi啦…”
“我们不可以搭车, 一定要走”
“哈, 你们到底要去哪里? 可以的啦, 他们都好像很累---没有人会知道的嘛”
“不不, 但你可以告诉我们ITE Balestier怎么走吗?”

The guy appears shocked and seems to step back. Then he stutters… “你们是ITE的? 那… 那边而已” Points… “不远　我不要送. 你们自己去　快点快点走开” And he shoos us away, walking off in the other direction.

Well talk about equality in the nation, and discrimination as an idealistic term. Naïveté. With idiots like these people, the world will never be free from slurs of diversity. A**-hole.

So we finally reach the destination. Then took a bus back and hid while they had flag-raising before going to sleep. I personally feel JTTS wasn’t a good idea, but I don’t think anyone else thought it was excellent anyway. And as jet mentioned, “the only people who saw our malus were lovers and hookers, who looked like they might be even more malu then us”.

Basically, we finished up the rest, prize presentation and all, and let them go around 2 o’clock. The end of the camp! Whoopee…

All in all, it was still quite fun I feel. Organisers perspective is very different from the participants’. But oh yeah, it was fun. Yep, really. Cheers to OT, buddies, teachers, self-sacrificing seniors and Y1s. Yay!

Selamat terima kasih

2005-01-19T21:08:00.000-08:00

Thank god for the upcoming Friday.

Finally, a chance to get a long weekend... must relish the opportunity - will blog about camp then.

Oh by the way, happy belated Jay birthday da jie!

So let's review today......

The skyver was late for class today (as it used to be. mr cheng don't be so early nowadays... it's so not you... xP). And he mistook it for a double period. >_< Don't like double periods - cos they mostly mean reading compre or compo. Yuck.

Then limny gave us a li3jie3 wen4da2. Ew. I hate them with...... well, the hate of....... hate. And I think it was talking about koi swimming in the Rhine, and how they disappeared as it flowed into the Km mark 547 and into the Pacific Ocean and some other crappy stuff. Not that the Rhine opens into the Pacific, I've been there lah...... See, crappy people who set essays with material they don't even know.

Ms Ong came in for history, and she said that our class has become really slacky this year. Well...... Then she was commenting on the technique of copying and the skills needed to detect plagarism. Note to self: Wrong MRP mentor choice =.='. She also mentioned how people used to copy from her because she always did all her work, and how the teacher ended up only marking one copy because even the gramatical errors were similar. *Hint hint* Pigsie / Jermy *nudge nudge*. Was teaching her the concepts of nin and zen :P.

Then we had Bahasa Melayu. And saya boleh read, so saya sengat bagus! Lima markah! Suka tidur [Okay, nvm]. Than we had this culture lesson on Hari Raya Haji. Interesting fact... did you know that 'Hari Raya Haji' literally means something like 'Day of Big Men who went on the spiritual journey to Mecca to cleanse their souls and pray to Allah'? Insightful......

Then laurang came for lit. Yay I was right about the black cloaks and the savagery via the loss of modest covering! I like LOTF, it's very cool...... ominous...... dark, etc. Were talking about how stupid Ralph is and how Piggy was so...... piggyish?

Math. Funnyface is boring. Like, really boring. He made us draw out the stupid factorisation cross whatamajig after we got the answers already. How dumb is that?

Thought Maumu would kick me out of iCouncil today, but he hadn't made up his mind. Jermy-gor run for ExCo chair and Pigsie run for Ambassador Chair! I'll support you with my all while I'm still in the council. Ganbatte kudasai!

Got home after the slacky AAR. Now blogging (duh). Going to watch TAR later. Whoopie!

Kill me. Just kill me now.

2005-01-18T05:02:00.000-08:00

Argh!

I endure the Year 1s for 3 freaking days, and then I don't get my homework on Friday to do over the weekend, but mostly on Monday to complete by TOMORROW!

Arrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Feeling like... really pissed right now. And yes, ho, I've blocked you. And that was for being such a tootally tootish toot and spamming me with that nonsense.

*Takes a deep breath*

Since I can't write much, I'll push the camp entry back again...

Monday. Let's see... history & geog were both kinda...... maybe I was just tired. I was falling asleep during Math, Bio & Lit while scrambling to keep us during english and chinese.

Overall, it was sort of a horrible day.

Then went to register for MRP (yay Howie!). After which, went with Jermy-gor, Howie and Ellie to copy advanced math answers. Jermy-gor is zai and really generous (thank you, AngLC won't know anyway!)

Damn tired, didn't knoe why. Had an early night. Slept at 10:30 pm. Poor jermy-gor had to stay up to prepare the baijia zhengming presentation single-handedly, while i taunted him by telling him that I was going to meet my favourite philosopher - meng4 zi (as in 'dream')... But now kinda regretting the early night. Now got so much work!

Hmm... today was much better

We seem to keep doing exposition in english nowadays, but the skyver's period is hardly ever boring lah, so yay! Then was biology... where we were covering bloody faeces, which resulted in a mass exodus to the toilets to check if we were drinking enough water to dissolve the urea :).

Assembly was boring (again). They don't seem to grasp the idea that some stuff they talk about garner NO interest from the crowd... *yawn*. And abby if you're reading this, I'm sorry... But in spite of your comment on pigsie's tagboard... I really, really, really think that you greatly resemble mrs. janey sim.

Then was chinese, where jermy and group presented on baijia zhengming. Just as well there was original confusion at the start of the lesson... cos 25-35 minute presentation? Hee. So jermy talked about the presentation while I passed him messages claiming...'梦子认为：人应该多多睡觉' while distracting him by saying...'do you noe that you're very shuai4?', then mr. lim presented his. Sigh... If he's going to do all, save us the trouble (and malu-ment) mah... Haiz.

Wrote my jap compo after school. Self-intro. By the way, I want to be a lawyer because...... 世界は公平の地方がありたいからです (I want the world to be a better place). Gah, retarded.

Had 3rd lang. And now, I'm struggling to complete all the crap. Sighz. Salvage me from the depths of desperation. I think I'm becoming depressed. Honestly. Sometimes I'm left wondering, "If I leave now, what would change?". Must persevere.........

Hooray I'm back!

2005-01-15T12:01:00.000-08:00

Well, as you can most probably see, this blog has not been touched for 4 months or so. This is testimony to how outrageously lazy, or rather hilariously forgetful I am. In fact, this post would not even be here if not for a few MSN conversations I recently had with people like Ho, Ellie and Pigsie. Let me just quote (paraphrase) part of my conversation with Ho…

Ho: “Did you see Jeremy’s blog recently? The post about his nicks and how Hiippy doesn’t know his name has only 3 syllables?”
Me: “They still write on blogs? I thought they spent all their time on FP nowadays…”
Ho: “Sure they do… In fact, I write a blog too, but I bet you’ll never be able to find it.”
Me: “Fine… who wants to see anyway?” (Then scoots off to Google ‘Jiajun’, ‘NP’, ‘x+y’ and ‘2o’ together, before finally admitting my inability to find it)
Ho: “However, I do know your blog, so for God’s sake update it.”
Me: “What? I have a blog?”
Ho: “Like duh, but the last post was in late September”
Me: “It was about what?”
Ho: “Oh god, you can’t be serious. SLC remember?”
Me: “No…”

Ho posts the link, and suddenly I recall. So to all constant visitors of the blog, please don’t kill me. Can you even believe I forgot about the existence of my newest blog after two posts? Apologies all around…

So anyway, if I say everything that has happened so far, you’d be turned off in 5 minutes, so I’ll just summarise, not that I can remember much anyway…

Erm so let’s begin with the holidays. Two months – Nov & Dec. Finally gave me a chance to catch up with Chinese pop. Can’t say I like Zhang Dongliang much despite all the hype. However, let me proclaim that I still <3>The Amazing Race 6. It is the best show playing on TV! It is so totally bagus that I guarantee that you won’t regret watching. Of course, with the exception of an idiotic chauvinistic bastard of an asshole who unfortunately is called…… Jonathan. Haiz…

I went to Malaysia, Vietnam & Germany during the holidays. Too bad Ho, go on being Jealous with a capital J. One trip to the state up north was to G. Ledang, and one was to Ipoh to visit my grandmother. Since I don’t quite have the space to talk about Ledang, suffice to say it was sorta a horrendous experience.
I went to Vietnam with my mum [yes only 2 of us], and it was a total eye-opener showcasing people from various walks of life showing remarkable diligence and enterprise. Sometimes, I feel that we really must question who we are and how lucky we actually are too. From the street peddlers to the rice farmers, the people are all so friendly and united by a pride for their nation despite the harsh poverty they face in their daily life. It was really an experience which made me question the reasons behind complaining at times in Singapore. Anyway in short, with the interesting monuments showing the scars of war, the rich culture amidst the places visited, the breathtaking natural heritage and the witnessing the way the friendly and hardworking people live, I wouldn’t hesitate to go again.

As I’ve always wanted to visit Europe, Germany was also very fun. I went with my dad [again only 2 of us], where we toured the architecture of Frankfurt, the medieval castles along the Rhine and the modern advancement of the post-war republic. I won’t elaborate much, but it was really cool despite the 13 hour flights.

In other news, I went to watch Mamma Mia, which had such a cheap set that it was horrible quality for a musical – when will they bring in Phantom of the Opera again!? Also, I went back to Tao Nan to collect an award and advertise the school to parents of P3 GEP pupils with Titus. I love Tao Nan.

Okay, now let’s do a review on class 2O (i.e. sans Lester and Samuel Chia) like everyone else has done on their blogs…

1. jermy / germy / jeremery / mr. ang. My surrogate gor in my 3rd family. He’s a really nice guy who’s great in everything from studies to sports to sociology (sorry couldn’t resist the last one). Always teased by people like me for being a perfect guy.
2. guan yu. Outwardly conservative & responsible ex-chair who often ends up doing group work by himself due to his hardworking nature.
3. howie. Really bouncy guy who is always full of life and provides entertainment to the class. Always self-depreciating due to his height, which really doesn’t matter to us. Boing!
4. jia guang. Math whiz and soccer fan who can solve all mathematics problems in the speed of light.
5. eddie. Has incredible biceps which are hard to imagine and thus has to face the orange dog. From what I know, he’s particularly fond of the ellipsis (…) and literature under skyver.
6. ho. Okay guy who can be rather slacky, but I suspect he has a secret domination plan to take over the world of math, which he is discreetly intelligent at.
7. hiippy. Childish and cute. “Hiippy got fat. Fat got ripple”. I don’t think he seems to have lost his baby fat, and can get slightly irritating sometimes.
8. joel. Speed-talker & computer-lover. Can get too helpful in CS. Don’t know much about him. Quote yq, “civil”.
9. zhewei. Fellow high scorer in PSLE, but he’s the one who maintained it while I slipped horribly. Sorry, don’t know much.
10. enyi. Super fit gym guy with the legacy of purging chicken rice grains and leaving behind a shiny clean plate.
11. lang bei. Tall, quiet and introverted. Wonderful in his Chinese. Again, don’t know much
12. ellie. The O2Jam & MS guy of 2O. Has this really cute pout and allows us to pinch his cheeks J. Very nice guy who is very often generously submissive to evil people like me who kope his stuff.
13. the idiot. I wonder.
14. sam lee. Bloody and gory >_<. Actually a very nice person who’s totally pro in art. Interests – writing & Japanese songs.
15. charlton. Not much to say unfortunately, despite the fact that he was in the same school as me for 8 years. Hangs out with ben.
16. Bear. Although I don’t know how the V part came about. Friend from Tao Nan days, and most hci people don’t know the story behind why I call him tang2jing1 at times.
17. pigsie. Charismatic intelligent yet self-proclaimed spastic. The genius in everything which shared the same jap class as me. Reminiscent of a math genius, he alternates water bottles at moelc, and everyone wants to befriend him. Cute but gooey. Big S.H.E fan. Fwen-fwen!
18. wee kiat. Man is separated into equal parts of good and evil. Perfect LOTF example. Need I say more? Bootlicking and kiasu, yet helpful and volunteering.
19. david. How many times have you slacked and pon-ed huaguang? Same school for 8 years and same class for 5. Hardworking and always ensure the class in neat and tidy, but that doesn’t quite apply for huaguang. Hee.
20. marcus. Fellow huagang guy. Thought I was gay when he saw me in the freaking p5 event I don’t wanna talk about. Fun, yet can be offensive at times subconsciously.
21. jasper. Snot-eater. I won’t disgust any further. Has weird mannerisms.
22. jose. The guy who should a golden mouth erected as a monument to him. Can crap longer than me and can talk on and on. Quite a good friend who likes to folly jermy around. Can make the skiver laugh while scolding with what Ms Ong likes to call the ‘innocent look’.
23. toh. Responsible, hardworking, intelligent. Our long-lasting trustworthy treasurer who also shares a hate for jap word limits on sakubuns.
24. benji. Not much to say. Always getting into trouble with the teachers, but nevertheless loved by most in 2O for being cute.
25. samuel ng. New guy, dunno much. Though I’m still wondering how mr. cheng knew about the ‘omen’ comment.

I’ve hit 5 pages on MS Word, but I’m not quite done yet. Must make up for 4 months.

School just started recently. Elected jose and marcus into the CMC. Hee. Doing MRP with howie. Yippie! Changed 3rd lang classes (Jermy’s mind: Awww… Couldn’t he have gone to J2M instead?)

We had this talk that day on Special Programs in Y3. C’mon jermy, pigsie and ellie – join BSP lah! Else very few friends planning to join. In any case, you guys are pro enough to take all of them.

Got a new form teacher. Old boy from hci. Limne for short (we call him ‘limny’ among ourselves). Our teachers in 2005 are……
Eng – Skyver. The same as ever. Yay!
Chi – Personally, I feel limny is much better than you-know-who. But I really must try to curb the accent lest the class tries to niao me again.
Math – Funnyface. Eh, Howie’s thrilled. Can be kinda boring, much we make fun of him ever so subtly.
Bio – Mrs Koh. Hmm, not too sure. Will miss leefy though. Never mind, he said he’ll take us in 06/07. Yay!
Hist – Onghy. Yay! Also same as before. Still looking for the perfect handphone.
Geo – Ms Foo. Cool…
Lit – Laurang. Aww, why couldn’t the skiver follow us up? Sigh. Anyway thank god LOTF is interesting.
CS – Koh KT. We were late for his weekly lesson, so don’t know much. Anyway I ran into yong_js at funan that day, and he said he’ll take some modules.
Malay – Cik Tan Hui San. Eh, she’s from a Malaysian kampong and teaches us tri-lingually.

Will talk about camp another day.

Okay, that should be enough for now, right ho and ellie *giggles*? In fact, I think ppl may be turned off for a while. Anyway, missed all of you. Will try to remake blogging a habit yah? Wishing you all a great 2005.

Student Led Conferencing

2004-09-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

The annual torture festival of iSpark students has finally arrived (and departed)! Plotted by our evil teachers, it showcases to parents our magnum opi, the portfolios which we have been working on since......... last night :)? Hee...... like..... 'not'.

Well, it didn't exactly go that way, and I must note that it was really kinda fun.

Outside the Drama Centre, my mum & I ran into Leefy, so I introduced him as an evil teacher. Happily and grandly, Leefy immediately proclaimed himself to be 'the' evil teacher I have been talking about to my mum...... so I kinda reminded him that there are incidentally, teachers who are evil to a greater magnitude. I think he was rather upset to hear that, his face immediately became sorta... crestfallen.

Inside, the emcees started their bout of..... well, emceeing. So Keike and Luey Chun begin doing their stuff, and I really must point out Keike's spectacles. He looks horrendously geeky. And so we were all in the Drama Centre, then suddenly I heard that Mdm Tan the consortium head would be absent. I was right on that account, but the memorable part was LC substituting 'Ms Letchmi' into 'Chen2 lao3shi1'. Imagine LC:"xian4 zai4, rang1 wo3 men2 you2 qing3 (increases pitch by one octave) Ms Letchmi (decreases again) wei4 wo3 men2 shuo1 ji3 ju4 hua4'.

Between that and the formal attire of *some* people...... it was actually quite fun. Then came the moment of truth. Uh-oh... So we were mercilessly deposited at our locations by Jeremy, and it was time for portfolio presentation. Okay admittedly, it went very well for me. I just showed 1% content and added 99% filler, but at least it was interesting filler and elaboration that kept my mum's attention. However, apart from myself, it appeared to be that people were staring to stand up, take pictures, stare at each other, escape to toilets, and mock the serious people from outside the doorways. The first few just showed that they might have finished or not have much left to say, but the last one... Seriously! C'mon if you don't have the maturity to utilise this chance for active interaction, I do believe you are in no position to do mocking stances outside doorways at those who are concentrating. That is a testimonial to your low sense of propeity, and honsetly... does not reflect well. Pbbfffttt.........

Okay anyway, nobody get offended. If you're not one of those people... excellent. If you are but you ain't offended... phew. If you are & got offended... whoops i'm sorry. Here, execute me now in your minds, then let's be friends again.

So soon there is hardly anybody left in the room, not that those still there are talking much. Then Jeremy comes alone to our classroom, and I enquire as to if he's gonna be my surrogate pa. Jeremy's mind: Whaaatttevvvaaa...... Sadly though, he was there to chase us out. Sighz...... and I hadn't even finished talking about 25% of my portfolio yet. Dis-ap-poin-ting.

We returned to the Drama Centre for some kind of a panel discussion. I don't think it was very interesting, but I'm not it a position to testify that the statement applied to the entire duration. zZzZz . To cut the story short...... talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, finish, re-arrange, re-arrange, complete, leave! Ta-da!

Reflections. Fun - okay. Gained - Nada.

Seriously, there really was'nt much learnt by either party. So organisers, take note. Next year, take the freaking event away...... pleeeeaaaasssse?

Exemptions

2004-09-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

Haiz......

Got to go back for exams for 3 days. 1 compulsory for all, 2 caused by white sands, rolling clouds, turquoise waters and swaying palms.

In any case, to get to the point... it was 3/4 exemptions. Thanks to a horribly irritating cow (pun intended).

Admittedly, I had already resigned to the truth, but curiosity got the better of me, as Jeremy (you know - a language professional topping the class in 2 terms and achieving a remarkable 78 in the other) also did not get exempted. So yeah, I started a volley of questions. And I have this perception that she blew her own cover with her stupid crap-excuses, i.e.

1. The 4% ACE that she forgot to give us wouldnt affect our grades that much. FOUR PERCENT OF THE FINAL MARK! Just that four percent would allow people to attain equal grades even if their termly scores were reduced by over 13/100, over all THREE terms.

2. There is a quota as to how many people can get exempted, for the school would not allow (Our class' math - 12/25 exempted; mainstream classes up to 12/35 exempted for Chinese - compare to 4/25)

3. She feels that many pupils do not have the 'Chinese Background'. This is so stupid that I can't even comment - blatant outright prejudiced discrimination against people who do not utilise the language at home. If these people are inferior, they might as well shut down the 3rd Language Centre - after all, very few of us have a 'Nihongo/Francais/Deustche/Bahasa Background'. Even so, how do you explain people like Guan Yu, whose father once did a university? presentation on Chinese Calligraphy, a mean feat I would never come close to completing.

4. People who are lacking in certain areas, despite an overall stronghold, should practise more and take part in the exams to improve. Yeah, like they'll focus on the problem spots when they have to study the entire retarded syllabus on the comprehensive subject that is 'dead memorising' (oh sorry, I meant 'Chinese')

et cetra, et cetra.......

I pitied people such as Jeremy, Guan Yu due to the fact that they truly have the potential to dserve an exemption. Yet all such feelings were momentarily shelved when I heard the greatest controversal outrage of all - Luey Chun from 1M didnt get exempted! He's the one most freakingly excellent student in the Chinese Language, and has outstanding aptitude in it, more so than any of us. Yet he failed to get exempted despite his stronghold with high OP, ACE CP and a mark topping the class term after term. Apprarently he was rather upset, and went to confront *moooooooo*, where he got even more, stupider excuses despite his arguing.

It happened yesterday, where we were the first-hand witnesses to the feeble attempt to defend herself, which inexplicably failed miserably. The pathetic effort to justify her actions via illogical explanations just aids in highlighting the unmistakable horrors of the bias she employs. Her idiotic, disgusting, contempuous and unreasonable actions are the best testimonial to her......... (uggggh WHY am I wasting my precious time on such lowly lifeforms who stand out negatively among the human race?)...... traits of being an a**hole.

So the message is, the band of brothers in 1O, we have been suffering long enough under such tyranical educators. The time has come for an uprising. Rebel! Together, let us plot her demise - work fervously for the goodwill of our suffering class! Never let go of this promise, fellow classmates (and friends form 1M). As one, let's all dao1 the cow and ngiao1 her till she goes xiao4!

Yeah!!!

New blog

2004-09-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

Yah so, yeah......

Anyway, changed blogs.

Bleargh...